I just took some cold medicine that makes my throat dry, my nose burning and my ears stuffed. I hate that but if I don’t, I am sneezing away till my head is about to drop off, my eyes popped out and my ear drums shooting out from my ears. Hehehe. I haven’t been sick for a long time and I cannot even remember the last time I got sick.
I think that was many months ago, where I spent the morning helping the char koay teow lady selling char koay teow during the family carnival in my church. I got really sick for a whole week due to the hot sun and burning hot wok. Now, I get sick due to the haze and my crazy idea of jogging in the haze. Woohoo, I am building up my stamina to take part in the handball, me gonna whack those BECs. Booyeah! I am from the twilight zone.
This morning, I cut short my rounds in the hospital when I notice that I am coming down with a flu. I left early and didn’t tell Sister ‘cos I couldn’t find her around. I cannot afford to pass on my flu to the patients and there is nothing else for me to do, other than hiding in the chapel. Anyway, I am a voluntary ‘being’ so it doesn’t matter, I guess.
I did spend a while in the chapel but I notice that I seem to have nothing to ‘talk to God’. Sometimes, there are people or situations that compelled me to pray for them or to pray for guidance. But these few days, I seem to be moving on autopilot.
Maybe it is because I am getting seasoned. That’s what I am afraid of. Being too comfy in a ‘job’ instead of having that ‘I am being called to serve’ kind of feelings. That’s why I pray every morning before I start my round to ask the Lord to present me something that tests on my wisdom, patience and kindness.
Anyway, I derive happiness from helping those elderly, frail relatives who are from other countries to find their way to the cafetaria. Maybe they can say it is the job of a social worker (and I was told that pastoral care is NOT social work) but I know these old darlings need a kind, friendly face to help them find foods. In our little walk, they will tell me their worries for the health of their child/sibling/spouse and I guess my welcoming hand to help them how to use the lift or something mundane like that means a lot. I would gently asked them if they need to find a temple (if they are Indon Chinese) to find solace and they can always ask the taxi driver to bring them there.
So, yeah, I have prayed less because there are less things to pray for. But it is good sign, I hope. And every day when I see the statue of St. Francis Assisi, I am reminded to care for the little ones. I have completed five weeks there and am looking forward to more because now, I am beginning to see more familiar faces who have to return regularly for their chemo or radiotherapy.
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