Tuesday was quite an easy day because there were not many patients in the ward. So, I decided to spend as much time with the few patients. Normally, I put out some invisible antennae to gauge if they feel like talking with me or secretly wish me to get lost and not bug them. If they are ok, then, I stay for about 10-30 minutes.
There was this elderly man with a huge tunnel for an eye. I approached him, not sure if he is receptive to me. I am a super sensitive person and is able to pick up the response through their body languages and replies to my introductory questions like ‘how long have they been in the hospital’, ‘how many more treatments’ , ‘how are they feeling, getting better, able to eat and etc.’
He was glad to have someone to talk to. But he has lost his voice. Whatever comes out are very hoarse. I thank God that He must have given me special skills to hear. I was told that if we are required to deal with certain situation, the good Lord will equip us with what we need to handle it. Example, a nose that is able to withstand the accidental B.O. smell, a stomach that can stand people retching in front of me, a touch that says ‘I care’ when no words can say it better and etc.
He is undergoing treatment for his throat. I could see a nasty red spot there. It is not easy to catch what he was saying so I repeated some of what I heard to make sure that I am understanding him. He has plenty of things to tell me.
First, he told me what he had gone through and why his eye needs to be removed. He was so friendly, cheerful and is able to walk about. So, I told him how much I admire him for his will and his spirit. I asked him why he didn’t cover up the missing eye to avoid dust. I joked that he would look like a pirate. Then, I asked him if it is ok if I go near and see where the tunnel leads to. He must enjoyed my company because I didn’t feel freakish with his condition. So, he told me how he had to endure two years of runny nose due to the dust that went in through his eyes into his nose. I even asked him if the tunnel needs cleaning!
He is indeed an inspiration to me. We talked about the recent flood in Penang, the stupid politicians and even ISA. He said it is futile for a person to be too engrossed in getting rich. He told me that life is meant to be lived simply. There is no point in fighting with people and if possible, just let them have what they wanted. We do not have to be too calculative. He said he has lived a satisfactory life and do not fear death. He has money, kids, grandkids and been traveling. He said other patients are not so lucky because some have small children, some need money for their treatment and hence, they are inundated with worries.
I learnt so much just chatting with this gentleman with one eye and almost no voice and couldn’t swallow foods nor has any tastebuds. It is marvelous how our own lives are sometime enriched through conversations with random strangers. At the end of the conversation, it wasn’t him that I have helped but rather, the other way round. He has given me more knowledge on how to deal with other patients and my own life.
I need positive patients like him to encourage me that pastoral care is not all about helping people to deal with an impending death. Ah…that’s another tough situation that I am going through right now but that’s for another day.
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