Many years ago, Fr. Stephen once told the congregation that no one can make you angry except you yourself. Only when we allow others to make us angry, do we get angry. He was known to be quite a fussy priest and was known to ’show his face’ when displeased. I like him for that because while others were telling me to avoid him, he actually guided me well during my RCIA. That advice has stayed with me since then.
Nowadays, people cannot make me angry much. I am not talking about the little annoyance which we can easily ranted and forget. I am talking about those deep betrayals or gross invasion of my privacy or huge dent to my ego. Everyone has ego. They ought to. Or else we are worthless.
A couple of weeks ago, I rushed to the post office because there was a registered letter for me to pick up. My boy told me the postman was looking for me. So, I actually didn’t really check if it was indeed my name on the envelope because I thought it is mine. I took the registered mail from the post office because I couldn’t accept it when the postman rang. I tore it open only to find a car loan agreement. I knew it was for a relative. I had been terribly pissed with an over-fifty years old relative who still couldn’t manage his finance and needs his younger brother with four sons to help him buy a secondhand car because his Japanese expensive car had been taken back by the bank. The man with only one daughter whose wife is working and he stayed in a condo twice my apartment’s size. He didn’t want to ride a motorbike and demanded a bigger car instead of a Proton Saga. WTH.
Well, at other times, I would probably kill someone for such generousity and condemned the man who didn’t even pay a single cent of his parents-in-law medical expenses or funeral expenses. But I supposed through the years, I had learned from Fr. Stephen’s advice.
Why sweat the small stuff? The amount of the car purchase is not small. It is almost RM20K. It is how disgraceful he was that I was pissed with. Here he is, wearing nice clothes, staying in nice condo, driving big car and yet, got himself into deep shit and need us to bail him out. We are not the only victims. He even got other siblings who are so poor and had worked so hard to bail him too. His two sisters are widows and yet, he got the cheek to borrow money from them. That’s what make me angriest most.
I did want to throw a fit over the discovery of the car purchase. But I guess Jesus probably shut my mouth and allowed me to think. I have the same number of sons like my mother-in-law. Who knows, one day, one of my own son may ended up like the uncle. And I certainly want my other sons to help him. Moreover, he is after all, my mother-in-law’s son and I guess for the old lady’s sake, I decided that the RM20K can go down the drain for the sake of keeping peace.
I hope my patience will teach my sons about the importance of family togetherness. That’s the only reason why I never bitch with my sons. My two older sons are old enough for me to bitch with. And I do bitch with them a lot about the in-laws because they too cannot stand some of them.
They do know about the deal initially but we didn’t know it was carried through. I suppose I shall rely on my faith that the Lord will continue to bless us richly and RM20K is just peanuts. Only my Christian faith keeps me from going out and blow RM20K just to get even. Ah well….some people are just not worth getting angry with. I guess their own shame and remorse will eat into them enough without having me to break a few Christian rules. Just get him out of face.
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