I was having a conversation with one of my son just now. We were travelling in the car after I picked him from his Youth Group meeting. I secretly told him some of the things I have told someone. It is purely a mother and son gossips. Or rather, I am just unburdening some stuffs on him. It started with him telling me about the project they are going to do. I told him…”Aiyoh, you know hor, I can pokkai with the amount of things we have to spend on.”
He reminded me, “Ma…if no money, how to get things done? Everything in this world needs money,ok?”
I pointed out to him, “You know….we are able to contribute and such but have you thought of those who may really be in need of help themselves and they are presented with ‘this’ every week? Have you wonder how they feel being asked so often? Have we ever thought of buying up those and give them to those who cannot afford it? It is not that I am anti your project but seriously….doh, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, every day also have something…. Oh ya, did I tell you that the other morning, I bought two chicken pies, thinking they cost RM5 but they told me RM9? I sakit hati worrr. RM4.50 per pie, you know…I felt like the woman with only one penny ‘cos I only have RM12 in my purse.”
Then, we continue our conversation……
“Oh did you know I also told him about etc etc?”
And he asked, “Ma….what have you NOT tell him lah?”
I told him, “Actually, there is almost nothing that I did not tell him. My things were all in points form and there are 10 of them.”
He answered, “Doh…what lah you….kuat complain lah”
I told him, “It is the right thing to do. I could just keep quiet or I could be truthful. I have no udang sebalik batu, I am only expressing what I feel and which I am sure others feel too.”
Then, I went to preach to my poor son. I told him that being truthful can be seen as being over critical sometimes. Others may even think we are just the king of complaints. Usually, if we do it, people will find us to be a pain in the arse. But if everyone starts to adopt the, “I want to be good, I want to be seen as friendly, accommodating, team player, crowd pleaser and a proper *Christian*” ” then, something is very wrong. It is not right when we close our eyes and refuse to open our mouth.
So, I told him, what I did was to bring to the attention some of the problems I faced as a Christian convert. How many times I felt like an outsider but how often I had fought back the timidness, the challenges I faced to be part of the church. And I also told him some of my ideas on improving the community because these are not my ideas but inspired by the Divine.
I explained further, “Eh, you don’t know your ma? She is very clever to arrange the ideas and the words. So, if die, I die quietly, no one knows. If some of my suggestions work, it helps others. Simple as that.”
It is inevitable. We have to rely on our wisdom, discern the issues and speak when the heart tells us to. I want all my sons to be effective Christians, someone who make things happen and not just following the crowds. It is only when we dare to rely on our instinct, put our trust in Jesus and make the leap of faith, knowing that God is with us always, that we can make things move forward. Of course, at the end of the day, I can only pray. A mother’s prayers that somehow, someday her brood will glorify the Lord in their own ways.
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