It is only with the heart that one can see clearly.
What’s essential is invisible to the eye
Actually, I am getting bored with the class but I am going to stick through it. The class is not boring and Fr Huan is good. But somehow, I just cannot find my role in the course. Am I there as a parent? Am I there to face the demons of the past? As a parent, I have no problems so I find what is being taught as ‘ya ya ya, tell me something I don’t know’.
And if I am applying those to myself, what’s the point? I can’t turn back time, I can’t get my parents to deal with me differently, I can’t change the past. I know I have done marvelously well considering that there are so many parts missing, so many jigsaw pieces absent and so many wrongs that influenced me.
That’s why I am getting rebellious. I know the lecturer doesn’t tolerate smart aleck theories because he has warned us from the beginning. But when he said a child will become an under achiever, I challenged that a child can be an over achiever and competitive. He wasn’t amuse with me.
Today, he told us the story of The Little Prince and he recommended us to buy and read the book. But aha, Youtube solved that for me. I found some clips online. I like the corny lines found in the story. What’s essential is invisible to the eye. It is only with the heart that one can see.
We talked about intimacy and isolation today. Intimacy here does not refer to the sexual type but how vulnerable one can be with another person. How comfortable one can get with another person, irrespective of gender or status. I left the class before it ends. I am not ready to discuss about this with a bunch of strangers. Nah ah, I will isolate myself, thank you very much. Anyway, I didn’t leave early because I want to escape but I have promised to meet someone to help her with some things.
Back home, I find it utterly funny as in comical that we discuss about intimacy, sexual passion, romantic love, platonic relationship and stuffs like those with priest and sems. I have a lot to argue but I just shut my mouth, pack my things and leave. I don’t want Fr Huan to give me ‘the look’ when I argued that though he advocated a healthy relationship based on intimacy (a non-sexual one), it cannot happen to me or any married woman, no matter how Christian-y it is. Of course, he can because he is a bachelor, but us? Nah ah. Let me listen to Barry Manilow and get lost in my thoughts.
May 25th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
“I know the lecturer doesn’t tolerate smart aleck theories because he has warned us from the beginning.” I think Fr Huan did that was because he had some not so good experiences with one of the sit-in students during my batch.