Discernment

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.

Psalm 32:8

The above is not just any empty promises from anyone. But something that I have to remind myself that with faith, that’s exactly what I should hear from the Lord.

But being human and being weak, it is not easy to believe and have the blind faith. Still, with some human ability, I can start to grope and grasp whatever I know and hope things worked out.

This morning, I have posted a letter to India. At the same time, I have heard from Singapore. Well, the mail from Singapore made it sounds like it is a 24/7 course. But Father Mark told me otherwise, “It’s quite ok except that you will be on call, even during the nights”. Then again, Father Mark probably went through a different course like what I am going to do. He probably has the foundation whilst I need to start from the bottom? And goodness, it is not a scene from Chicago Hope.

Still, the Singapore counterpart probably didn’t know that I am the supermom who can juggles many things at the same time. I wanted to know if I need to ‘leave everything behind’ including my online stuffs. Even if I can leave them, I will be doing a big mistake because I may killed the income I am making. I cannot afford that because it will means my ‘babysitter’ needs to stop babysitting and that leaves me back to zero.

Therefore, the next person to ‘interrogate’ is Father Simon. I am sure he will have something more positive to tell me. After all, he won’t be referred as the coolest priest around if he pours that bucket of cold water on me. Certainly he is not going to push the most bitter medicine like what Jesus told His disciples? “Leave everything behind.” Hey, this is the 21st century and people don’t ride on donkeys but surf with super speed broadband, you know? All I ask is a few hours to myself and a laptop and broadband and I won’t be lonely.

Next thing to do now is to explore the financial side. Who is going to sponsor me? The place where I need to return to work full time? Is there some other place who is willing to nurture more workers for the field?

So, it is back to pray, pray, pray and have faith, have faith, have faith and hope all things work out really soon.

It is getting exciting.