Don’t Quit

Tuesday morning, I head straight to Sister C.A.’s office to tell her that it is my last day there. I asked the receptionist to intercom her and she asked me to wait for her outside her office.

I was restless. I took out my badge and gave it a wipe as it has lint from my bag. The badge that helped me to explain who I am whenever I meet new people. I wanted to return it as a closure.

I didn’t know how to open my mouth to tell Sister C.A. because whichever way I tried to say it, it sounded wrong. I have to explain why it is so sudden. Yet, it sounded so long winded.

So, I was pacing up and down the corridor outside Sister C.A.’s office. Her office is next to the mammogram room. The radioactive sign which is bright yellow and black reminds me that is the breast cancer screening room.

With my pacing up and down the corridor, people would think I am having a terminal illness. Hehehehe. Suddenly, I noticed the wall hanging with the message Don’t Quit.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow

This is the one reminder that I very much needed then.

Finally, Sister C.A. came to her office and I told her that I have to temporarily stopped due to time constraints. But I told Sister C.A. my heart desire to continue serving in pastoral care in a hospital setting is very strong. I asked her to pray that one day, I will once again be able to afford time to return again.

I gave her my badge and told her that I had cried for two nights over my decision. Actually, it is not a decision because it is not like I have any other choice. I was on the verge of crying again so I dare not go up to the ward to tell Sister P. She is the one who normally ‘pass on’ the info to me to tell me which patient needs more attention etc.

Instead, I went up to the chapel for a short prayer and left the hospital without leaving any words to the nurses or receptionists. I just couldn’t open my mouth to say that it is my last day there or I think I could burst out with tears. Maybe, when my weekends are more relaxed, I will bake them a cake and make a visit as friends.

Meantime, I hope and pray for the health of the patients and blessings to all the caregivers too.