Exploring the ‘what if’ with a person who knows he has limited time in this world is not easy but it is still something that has to be done. Just this morning, my hubby was on the phone with the bank to clear the housing loan of his deceased bro-in-law. It has been five months since he died but his wife is still struggling with all the banks, insurance companies and EPF and other red tapes to claim the money due to her. My hubby had made trips to the undertaker, crematorium, hospital where he died, banks and lawyers to get these done.
If both of us have not helped, I dread to think what the poor widow has to go through to claim the money that is rightfully hers. We thought that a death certificate is enough to get things done but unfortunately, the banks and insurance companies all need the burial certificate, a letter from the doctor and other documents.
Incidentally, something pop out of my mind during my pastoral care visit. This man with young children is on palliative care. He has only a few more months before his company terminates his service. Thereafter, he will be jobless, no insurance coverage and the future is very uncertain. So, we had talked about claiming Socso and on medical board. Medical board is when Socso pays a person about 50-60% of their last income every month as a welfare service.
Ideally, he can get better and return to work before he lost his permanent job. Unfortunately, from the signs, it is hardly possible. So while chatting with him, a thought crossed my mind. I apologised profusely to him and explained that I don’t mean to sound negative or being a bad luck charm to him.
I asked if he knows if his family will get the Socso help if he is not around anymore? And if Socso still covers his children until at least they are 18 yrs old, would it be better that he start making the arrangements NOW? (as I know he won’t have much time left) He gets what I was hinting. A nurse was with us and at that time, his wife has gone out. The nurse told me he is on palliative care which means no more treatment possible but they are merely keeping him comfortable until the end.
I know it is very hard for him but I told him to ask and clarify. He also found my suggestion worth thinking. He knows that he does not have much time and he told me he has given his wife clear instructions on where to find the documents and what to do with it.
It is one of the hardest situation I face as a pastoral care worker. I have to gently nudge them to these realization because there are things that need to be done and faced, no matter how hard it is. As I have seen the experience face by my sister-in-law, I wouldn’t want another widow to endure those long and tedious process of claiming money.
We talked about his house, car ownership, if he has done all the nomination at EPF, will his wife know how to claim his life insurance and all that. These sort of conversations usually drained me off. Eventhough I am not to get too attached to a patient, it is still heart breaking to know a father with very small children facing all these.
I won’t be going to the hospital next week as I need a break and it is also the school holiday. I could only tell him very sincerely, “Stay healthy, stay strong, and I will see you the following week. I will keep you in my prayers every day.” So, Lord, keep him going for as long as possible so that he can see his sons growing up. And I need all the spiritual and emotional strength to face patients like these with calm and compose mind so that I can be an effective pastoral care worker.
Leave a Reply