I only managed to attend three choir practices for Easter. Normally, I never miss any practice unless I was terribly sick or I was away from Penang. But due to my citizen journalist course, I was only able to attend the last few practices. Even that, I had skipped Martin Jalleh’s session eventhough I had wanted to go very much. I also decided not to go to KL this weekend because today is our last practice before the big day.
There are at least three songs which are new to me. Some of the songs are old songs but we have to sing the descant part now, instead of the melody. The first time I sang Table of Plenty, I squeaked out the melody, much to the horror of my choir members. Oh well…I learnt my lesson well. I recorded down the whole choir practices and listen to them at home.
And how is faith connected to choir practice? Well, when I was unsure of the songs, I just pretend to sing but my voice only bursts out when I was very sure of the part. So, I pretended to sing but in actual fact, I was just miming. During the real day, the congregation sits all around me and I need to pretend. Just like how we Christians sometime pretend to know our Christ very well but we are actually just acting.
Then, though I know my parts well, I can still doubt if I am wrong or the person sitting next to me is wrong when we are not singing in the same tune. I do not know how to read music notes. But I have good memory and when I hear the tune, I immediately recall how to sing it. If the song is an old one like You Raise Me Up, I am very comfortable with all the ups and downs, change of key and etc. So, I was sitting next to someone who can (or supposedly) reads music notes. Today, she sang the wrong tune. I could hear that she was going flat out (which is the part of the men) while I was going up. Since she knows music notes, I was doubting if I am singing it all wrong.
Just like our faith, we tend to doubt. If we think someone is holy and righteous, we tend to think they are doing everything right. We start to doubt ourselves if we are the one who is seeking Christ the wrong way.
And at the end of it, if we could all come together as one voice, we will make a beautiful choir.
As for me, I think I will survive the choir on Easter morning because I know when to turn the volume down when I am unsure and give my best when I am very sure. Just like life, don’t talk too loud if you do not know your stuffs well and be the salt and light of the world when you are sure of your role.
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