Faith - you either have it or you don’t

Sometimes, it is amazing how some people can have so much faith. The amount of trust and faith they have really humbled me and put me to shame.

There was this lady. If I look at it from a medical point of view, the situation is really bleak. Yet, she was so hopeful and so faithful. The amazing thing is she is faithful to that God which is just God. Not a Hindu God, not my Christian God or any God. To her, it is a big big God. The One which she surrendered her days to. She give all her pains to Him.

Something about her touched me greatly. I don’t feel pity for her but I feel admiration. I know I have to do something to boost that faith of hers. I feel helpless listening to the amount of things inside her, how the cancer has spread to so many parts.

Out of the blue, I suddenly have the urge to get her prayed over. I know my action may not go down well with the people above me. Therefore, I cannot afford asking them in advance because they may not allow it. Instead, I asked someone else higher and he agreed!

So, I was a bit guilty for taking the upperhand of dealing with things which I should let the upper people know and get their permission. But I cannot risk it. Friday morning, I rushed to the hospital early in the morning and asked the Indian lady if she wants a prayer. I told her my ‘chief’ from my church happened to be around that morning and it is a rare chance to get hold of him. I have to get her permission. I know she will want it because she will grab anything now as it is desperate situation.

Before that, I struggled with the reasoning. It is her life, her choice. I am prompted by my heart (or Jesus if you can fathom that) to do something for her because that’s the least I can do. If both she and I feel fine with it, why not?

Then, we had mass that morning. I was thinking of telling the people above me, when the ‘chief’ was there so that they couldn’t possibly say no. But I was a bit late and the chief told them first before I could do it. Oh boy, I could sense some surprises from them. They asked me, “Is she Catholic?” I feel bad. I told them she is not but she is fine with it. Moreover, I am confident my ‘chief’ is not going to mumbo-jumbo, alleluia with her as I trust him to deal with anyone.

So, both of us went to see her and she was so happy about it. She told him her situation and he listened attentively. After all, he is much more trained than me and these are just routine daily job to him. So, he prayed a very simple yet, personalised and touching prayer for her.

Later on, I went to visit her again and we talked for a long time. Actually, it is not ‘my job’ to be there that morning but somehow, I ended up spending two hours just for her and for Miriam. (it’s a feastday) I don’t know what the future holds for her. Or how the days ahead are like.

But I am confident Jesus will watch over her, whether she profess Jesus as Lord or not. It is not often we have faithful people who trusted God with their own lives. Even Christians like me find it hard to be so trusting.

The day when she walks home is the day when I will go down on my knees and thank Jesus. And if she decides that she will embrace Jesus, I will errrm…grow a beard? Hahaha. Because growing long hair is too hard for me to manage.