dont know why today i tot maybe your Lord could help me. but i feel guilty coz i am only turning to him because i am desperate. and i feel guilty for doing so coz (reason edited). maybe i am too desperate that i am just holding on to whatever i can. my heart is not sincere.

Someone wrote to me and I thought maybe I can share better in a long post than a personal email. I won’t tell you what you can do about your situation because I do not like to impose my thoughts on others who are not Christians. I like to believe that in order for someone to believe in Jesus Christ, they have to do it on your own free will. Getting to know Jesus is a very personal thing. For example, if I tell you I have a friend who can help you, you certainly will not warm up to that friend unless you personally encounter the person, right?

(Power of your love - Don Moen)

So, dear W, your mail made me very happy that I can touch your heart. I have gone through the guilts you feel when you feel incline to turn towards another faith. Trust me that I have gone through that because back then, I was responsible for the tablets (altar) of my father-in-law, mother-in-law and I also took care of my own parents’ one in the temple. So, the sense of betrayal is very great in me. On top of that, I have the pressures from my siblings-in-law and my own siblings whom see that I no longer ’serve’ our parents foods during prayers. (I used to cook the foods for offerings.)

Now, if one feels closer to Jesus, one actually do not have to go all out and make a big fuss of it. Not until you are absolutely sure. So, no one has to know because you are not required to hang a big cross and tell everyone. Take Jesus as your personal friend. You may not see him but I know when you are in desperate situation, you will cling to that hope. You can feel the comfort and the burdens lifted when you silently cry out for help.

Many people will be doubtful because they will say that how can someone invisible be able to lift off our burdens? But then, things do not work that way. Things like guilt, anger, disappointment, frustration, fear and etc all in our mind and our heart. How we feel from one moment to the next depends on how willing we are to see things differently. And this is when God (or Jesus) plays a part. You see, God is with us all the time, whether we acknowledge it or not. So, it could be a different kind of approach, change of our attitude or ways to solve our problems.

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If you find difficulties coping, can I suggest reading some inspirational books? You can go to MPH, Salvation, Gladsound and other Christians bookstores and browse through. They have many motivational books to guide you. Remember, do not be afraid. It is not like you are going to be recruited to any faith against your will. Long time ago, I bought a book by Phillip Yancey titled “Where Is God When It Hurts?”. Meantime, do read some of the short stories about people and their everyday life from this website. Our Daily Bread was one of the earliest booklet I got before I know Christ.

Do not fear or be dismayed; . . . for the LORD is with you. —2 Chronicles 20:17

Remember the above. If you are confused with my references of God, Lord and Jesus in my sentences, please know that they are one of the same (almost). It is up to you if you prefer to take Jesus as a friend or God as a fatherly figure. Whichever way, we are never alone. God won’t forsaken His creations.

So, W - all the best and thanks for trusting me enough to write to me. I am very touched.