Haiz…sienz

I don’t normally whine about my faith versus dan-lain-lain faith. But it would be a lie if I don’t feel anything at all.

The other day, I went to this funeral of an elderly person. I do not know him very well but since he is part of the family, I feel it is my responsibility to be there. I notice how little people there were. It is strange because elderly man has a large circle of friends.

Much later, I only knew that many people didn’t go to the funeral because it is too near Chinese New Year and attending funeral is a no-no. It is a bringer of bad luck. Bah! What a load of craps. Some self-imagined prosperity over real friendship? Where’s the logic?

So, back to the funeral, I sometimes do take a joss-stick and burn it because it was like a personal act of ‘I am here, I am going to miss you, you have a good trip, ok?’ kind farewell action. It is just a Chinese thing. But that night, there were several nuns in their gray robes and shaven head standing there. I couldn’t bring myself to burn the joss-sticks. And I also couldn’t bring myself to do the cross after my short and inconspicuous prayers. I meekly disappeared from the scene.

Now, another thing that bugs me is ancestor worshipping. Previously, I used to do that. Then, when I converted, no other daughter-in-laws will do it. I can’t do it for obvious reason. So, my sister-in-laws (4 of them but only one do it) took the task of ancestors worshipping. Now, the one is sick and too elderly. So, she asked hubby to do it.

I don’t mind him doing it at all. I am happy that at least this man is still filial enough to do so. But then, I wonder…how long is this poor man going to do so? He is only half-hearted into it. He has to go out of his way to buy the vegetarian foods which is not easy to find. None of his sons are ever going to take over because we are all in Christ and our prayers to God include our dearly departed too. So, looks like he is eternally responsible for the task. Oh well, as long as he bothers, albeit half-hearted, I shall just keep my mouth shut.