I followed a pastoral care nun in a cancer hospital since last week. Well, follow is probably not a good description. Actually, I jumped into pastoral care last week without following anyone but my own instinct because as I told someone ‘I was let loose to run around the wards’. I also prefer it that way because I was less nervous in carrying out what I feel is what I am called by the Lord to do.
Last week, I woke up extra early to celebrate mass so that I could get that extra ‘courage wafer’ (lol, the Body of Christ) before I start my rounds. This morning, I was told that the Sister in charge of pastoral care won’t be around. I thought, no problem, what else is new? I had seen so many people from different faiths, races, conditions and even nationalities last week. No problemo, Sister!
So, this morning, I got to ‘work’. There was no mass in my church this morning. I was a bit late in reaching the hospital due to rain and I didn’t bother to go up to the chapel for a few moments of reflection. Usually, I like to go to the chapel before I hit the wards.
I know someone had told me last week that she enjoyed my visits. She had asked me a lot about Christ and she usually ask me to pray for her. We have a lot to talk about like eyebrows tattoo, beauty stuffs and etc. Actually, I made this small chats because I know she needs that little ‘normality’. I am able to see that she was a beautiful lady before being ravaged by her illness.
She asked me to tell her stories about Jesus. I made it clear to her that I am not there to spread Christianity and I won’t talk about religion unless she asked me. I do not want her family members to get the impression that I am there to pump religion if she should tell them. So far, I never meet any one of them.
Moreover, pastoral care personnel is supposed to embrace all faith, respect all cultures and never push our own faith to others unless being asked. And below is a reminder that Jesus will watch over them, regardless.
Sickness speaks to us of our limitations and human frailty. It can take the form of infirmity resulting from the simple passing of years or injury from the exuberance of youthful energy. It can be temporary or chronic, debilitating, and even terminal. Yet the follower of Jesus faces illness and the consequences of the human condition aware that our Lord always shows compassion toward the infirm.
Jesus not only taught his disciples to be compassionate, but he also told them who should be the special object of their compassion. The parable of the feast with its humble guests was preceded by the instruction: “When you hold a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind” (Lk 14:13). These were people whom Jesus healed and loved.
(source)
Back to this morning, I knew something is not right already. I made a quick glance and I fled to the chapel. It is quite the ‘I better run and find some guide before I know what to do in this situation’ kind of escape.
I know that some of the people I see are having palliative care, ie. care to comfort them as there isn’t much that can be done for the person anymore. I know patients like some of those are suppose to ‘go’ anytime. I have no problem about that. I had assured the nuns that I learnt the ‘detachment’ in my heart before so that I don’t get sucked into others’ depression.
I lost my confidence earlier because all her children and relatives were crowding around her. I could just evade and not go into her room. But after the animated chats we had for the last few days, it will be cowardly for me to do that. It wasn’t her that I have problem facing. But the children.
Anyway, I came down from the chapel, went in and told them I came to visit their mother because we are friends and we chatted last week. I held her hands and I left because she is half conscious.
Now, I am glad that so early in this pastoral care experience, I already face some of these tougher situations. I do not know if I had done the right thing but I am sure Sr. C.A. will tell me.
It is a very short day today because there are very few patients around and most were in treatment rooms. I spent the time drinking coffee in the cafe and then, spend more time in the chapel. If I cannot do anything physically for the lady and the others, at least I can pray for them.
Last week, someone asked me how I am getting along with my rounds. I told him, “I am actually enjoying myself and I suppose you know what ‘enjoy’ means.” He has been in this field so there is no misunderstanding over my choice of word. It is very enriching experience for me and each day, I can feel close to the Lord and at the same time, see all the human weaknesses overcome by strength, courage, perseverance, bravery….and all the positive points which humans only muster up when they are in a dire situation.
I can only pray that this fervor of mine to be in this ministry, i.e. layperson in pastoral care will not die down after some weeks or some months. Anyway, even if it does, at least I know that I had tried my best and the time spent will be my life experiences.
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