I think today answers my question why I was so emotional on Epiphany of the Lord. During that 10 am mass, I was suddenly engulfed in an emotion hard to describe. I was between feeling sad, joyful, helpless and yet worthy of His Name. It was a crazy feeling that brought tears to my eyes starting from the opening hymn. I am not easily affected and usually, if the Spirit is going to touch the core of my soul, it will happen after Holy Communion. But that morning, I was just too tearful and I cannot understand why.
This morning, both Sis. K and Nurse M told me that he has passed on. It happened on Christmas day. Incidentally, before I went to the ward to talk to Sis K and M, I was in the chapel, wondering how he is.
The news neither shock nor sadden me or them because we knew it will happen. I was more disappointed that he didn’t have more time. Not even to see his eldest enter Standard One.
I must call the wife and find out how she is. I spent a lot of time with him and he told me his greatest concern is how she is going to cope, with two children and no job. So, it is only right to assure her that if she needs any help, I am there. I may not be able to do much but I am sure the Lord won’t let a widow and two young children to go without help.
I suppose she didn’t transfer her children over here because I had been looking out for her since school opened last week and I didn’t see her. But that’s what she had planned to do if he is not around anymore.
I am glad Sis. K gave me her number and told me to call her. I need Sis K’s approval because I cannot act on my own.
So, yeah, another one and another tear. But I know the Lord will lift me up and kick me into my usual self again. Because if He doesn’t, I will do it myself.
I don’t know which is harder – before or after?
January 13th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Dear Lilian,
I find this blog a great place for reflection and inspiration.
However, I don’t know whether you realise it or not, it’s quite distracting and disturbing when the mouse accidentally hovers over a link to an advertising message. Specifically, in this post, the links embedded in the words “the opening” (directly related to word ‘hymm’) and “Holy Communion” all lead to:
Header: Bisnes bebas risiko rugi.
Copy: Bisnes sah, beli dan jual dgn akad bai’at-tawaruuq. Pendapatan hebat.
No offense and hope you’re not enraged by my feedback.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
julie – Someone has to pay and keep the site, so those ads are doing the job. I don’t have control over it, too bad. Just keep the mouse in its cage and you will be fine. Hehehe. Tks for the feedback. If this may help, the gray double underline you find on the net are usually ads links.