I skipped Living The Word

And so be it. Actually, I am quite relieved I am sick enough to skip it. I woke up from my nap around 7.30 pm and struggled with ‘to go or not to go’. I didn’t go because I still feel chills, my throat is hurting and my joints painful. So, whoopee, that rendered me unable to sing and unable to joget. Not that I joget, anyway.

I think it is almost the last few sessions already. That reminds me I must go for confession before the final session, which is a mass. Aiks, whom shall I confess to? FFA is too serious for me, he frightens me. FH is too young for me, I feel bad throwing stupid confessions to him. FF is too cool for me, I confessed nonsense to him all the time, through emails, through chats and confession suddenly seem so casual.

It is stupid for me to battling this ‘whom shall I confess to?’ when the purpose of attending the Living The Word sessions is to find our purpose in life. The problem is I have my life charted out somehow and I have my way of dealing with it when the paths don’t lead me to where I want. I merely rant and forget it.

Right now, I am still feeling pissy because of the interrupted plans. But I am not going to let it bother me enough to make things miserable for me. If I don’t go on Sept. 15th, which I doubt I can make it anyway, I will aim for Jan. 2009. But I know it will be hard then as beginning of the year have so much family commitments like kid entering secondary school, kid going kindie, Chinese New Year and all those family responsibilities I have to attend to.

That leads me to the devilish idea on what to rant in confession. That people don’t always walk the talk, people sometimes live too much in their cosy world and failed to to understand others and people too preoccupied with the laws and rules they set up that disabled them from bending a bit. And in all that, people failed to see that is not Jesus’s casual, everything can-do, anyone-also-can build God’s kingdom style. So, yeah, I am the uppity-mighty self-righteous woman on her high horse who thinks she know what is Jesus style. So, blessed me Father for I am super critical of people when I don’t realise I am one of ‘em people. No, make that, slap me Father for I am so, so perfect and always right.

I think this is my anti-histamine talking….

Oh yes, I got the reply from India today! Yippee! Next thing to do is to show Sr C.A. and FF the program and if they say it looks good, I am going to do THEOLOGY! OMG, that is such a big word!