It is funny how things seem to fall into place

Yesterday night, I planned to make a dash to church at 7 am for a quick prayer to find out what exactly was my purpose in making an appointment to meet someone the next day. But right after midnight, I received an email from Google Adsense Dev. Team that my site has been hacked and injected with porn site links. That got me into two hours of intense reading and searching to find out how to solve the problem.

By the time I sleep, it was already 3 am. When I woke up, it was already almost 10 am. I have an appointment at 11.30 am and I still do not know why I bother to take the bold step. So, I muddled through and was about to leave home when I flipped through the papers. I found an interview done by Clove, The Star pullout section, with me and two other bereaved parents. I have forgotten about the interview actually. So, when I read through the article, it is like a stranger reading about another person’s life experiences.

That’s when I see the pieces coming together. I dropped the hubby and kid at Gurney Plaza since the two mall rats love hitting the mall and GP is on the way to where I was heading. Between the short drive from GP to the hospital, I have like 10 minutes alone.

And I asked the Lord….exactly why am I doing it? This is treading on foreign ground, frightening places and I do not want to waste the person’s time meeting me if there is nothing good coming out of it. But that 10 minutes slow drive is enough to reveal to me why I need to make the first move.

I have seen too much, learned a lot, feel many kinds of emotions, understand the needs of those people there and if I just shoved that as the past and nothing else, I have wasted buckets of tears for nothing. So, let me turn my tears to be the comfort for others.

Next week, I am going to devote some time in my boring, routine life to see what I can do in a cancer hospital. Like I told the two persons I met, “I had been in hospitals. Many times, the medical staffs are there to provide medical support. But the most important thing is to provide emotional, motivation and maybe some faith support to the patients and their caregivers. Without the will, one will have difficulties overcoming their fears and worries.”

So, help me Lord.

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. (Luke 9:23)