It is not easy to un-makeup and un-dress

Before I proceed, Un-dress here is not going naked. It simply means dressing down from our regular style.

I didn’t know that I need more time to un-makeup and un-dress until these few days. Sure, I can go anywhere without make-up and wear whatever garb I was in, like the faded Bermuda and baggy t-shirt. But where I go, I cannot go in Bermuda and baggy t-shirts from those freebies, giveaway tees. Especially not those t-shirts which bear slogans like ‘Danger. This bitch starts automatically’ or my signature t-shirt ‘The Obnoxious 5xmom’.

I also cannot go in my usual blouses because I don’t want to look like I am going to a party or Sunday church. Then, I have to check in the mirror if my t-shirt is too form fitting or too revealing or low collar. Blek, who would guess that it takes me much longer to rummage through my wardrobe to find something that fits the description?

Then, I have to wonder if I need a light hint of lipstick so that I don’t look sickly. And the fickle woman part of me, wonder if my lipstick colour is too striking.

Well, I guess everyone has their initial nervousness and I released mine in the form of trying to look the part. And I am so glad that everything is over today, I am accepted warmly. Whatever I wear or don’t wear. Still, I must make a mental note to stick to what I mentioned above because treading on places I have never been before, means a careful watch on the first appearance.

I cannot afford to give people the impression that I am some mak-datin trying to reap good karma. I also don’t want to make myself look so glum, it adds on more gloom to the already dreary place.

But praise the Lord, the first person I met, she already made me feel loved. And I hope she felt that I had showered her with genuine care and sincere concern. I will be back. Definitely. Thank you, Lord for the guts You implanted in me. I see Your people’s hurt, vulnerability, fears but I also see Your strength, faith, courage and determination in those faces.