I was so reluctant to wake this morning and ‘get to work’. Since I have been away for more than 10 days, it is a chore to get out of the house in the hot sun and face what I am going to face. The sun is terribly hot these few days with clear blue skies and no cloud. It is one of those days when I questioned myself why I am so crazy to do what I am doing. I could just call it quits and no one notice.
But I don’t quit that easily so I went there. Got up to the chapel and noticed a pot of flower (those Christmas red and green leaves thingie) had toppled to the ground. I squatted down to put the pot up. Was about to stand up and whom do I see but St. Francis Assisi and his open arms. I notice some of the nurses touching his palms before they go for their lunches (at a resting place behind the chapel) but I am not the superstitious type.
However, today, I came face to face with the small man who did small things but achieved great heights to become a saint. So, it was sort of an inspiration to me. I stood up and being face to face with the saint statue, I said a silent “Hi! Francis!”
I went into the chapel and found a nice rosary on the floor. One of the nuns must have dropped it at mass. It is not ordinary rosary but a nice wooden beads one. Picked it up and put it nicely on the pew so that the person can find the rosary easily.
Went down on my knees and told the Lord, “Oh my Lord, I am so out of touch now. Those that I know well have either died or cannot afford this hospital care anymore and have moved. It is terribly lonely and awfully hard to find new people to provide pastoral care to. Some would just stare uncomfortably at me and some will shoo me away because they think I am there to spread religion to them. Gee Lord, I really dread going down to start my round.” Usually, I have one or two patients that I know well and I do look forward to meet them each morning. Their warm welcome to my visit gives me the sense of purpose of being there. But I know I am going to meet total strangers in the ward and the thought of breaking the ice with patient after patient is a huge task.
Anyway, as I was going out of the chapel, I turned to look at dear Francis again and said, “Bye, Francis, God help me!” Then, I wonder how we ought to address a saint? Call them saint seems so official and cold. So, Francis it is.
I went through the wards, floor by floor today. There aren’t many patients. But the Lord never fails me. When I was terrified of knocking the door and going into the rooms to meet new patients, the patients turned out all very friendly and very warm. One very elderly lady chatted with me. Her daughter was amused to see me talking with her mom. She told me she can hardly understand what her mom is talking. I just blurted out, “Don’t worry, I have special touch, I can understand. Old people can sometimes be so adorable and cute.” I suppose not many people tell a 50+ years old woman that her 80+ years old woman is adorable and cute. And heck, I don’t know how I can come up with such descriptions. But chatted we did. I told the old cute and adorable lady that Chinese New Year is coming, it is the year of the Ox and I am a dragon bla bla bla. And guess what? The old lady said she is a dragon too. Praise the Lord! It must be Francis helping me in my sub-conscious mind. Francis could talk with birds and even wolves.
As I was driving home, I realised that it is in the tiny things we do that makes a difference. It was also the result of my chat with a 70+ years old woman who was there for chemo. I told her it has been inspiring talking with her. And I am indeed lucky to have all these wiser and older folks to talk to because from them, I can glean what life is and how they handle adversities.
So, though I don’t sweat the small stuff, I think doing the small stuff is important.
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