Matthew Chapter 10

I found an old post in my 5xmom personal blog with the above title - Mattthew chapter 10. It was written exactly 2 years ago, on 22nd September, 2005. I notice a pattern. My emotions are always affected by the forthcoming birthday of my deceased son. Every year, for the last six years, I will go through some crazy phase like a werewolf. Two years ago, I contemplated to stop blogging.

But this post is not about it. This is about Matthew Chapter 10. Through my blogging journey, there were times when I felt really useless because I know my character and my style. I never hold back whenever I want to say my mind. I live the black and white, devil and angel, sin and grace opposite  poles through my blogs.

Something struck me. It is only through that extremes that I have people turning to me. A girl who got pregnant but was too afraid to tell her parents, girls who have mental problems, guy asking me about some of the ’sins’ they committed and many more. In a way, I serve my purpose. I never evangelize or hunt them down. Rather, they come to me, we have some exchanges of emails (usually they are anon.) and off they go. The girl who was pregnant eventually got married and had a baby, instead of aborting.

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

Now, I don’t feel so unworthy.  God has a purpose for me.

And I often remind myself with this:

...we  also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3)

Actually I do not know exactly what is my point.  Except that Matthew chapter 10 came to me as an encouragement.

Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel.  As you go, preach this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven is near.’  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.  Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts;  take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff; for the worker is worth his keep.

I had written many posts on my personal blog related to my faith, or rather the lack of it.  They can be found under the faith category.

Again, I do not know what’s the point of this post.   Weird.  Maybe I just want to justify my bad points using God’s words?  Eeeek…am I?