People always have that impression that Christians are supposed to be all good. And some scary Christians really did manage very well being 100% good. So, good they are faultless and supposedly shine like angels on earth.
I prefer to be the sometimes bad, sometimes ok kind of Christian because if I remain 100% spanking and shining ‘innocent’, then, I will be a blardy hypocrite. Of course, by using the term ‘bad’, I am not saying that we should sin. No. I only mean we should just be human.
Something popped up in my mind today. I was on lector’s duty and normally, I had to act all proper and ‘good’ when I am on duty. I hate that but I cannot resist the calling of being in the awesome ministry of proclaiming God’s Word. So, I hang on inspite of all my shortcomings, pre-lectoring nerves, post-lectoring self criticisms and such.
That’s when I got this idea as a solution for a person. She has been having some problems and I think it is owing to her impression that being a Christian, she has to be all good, kind, accommodating, tolerant, forgiving, accepting, gentle, helpful (insert all the positive blah of being good, ok?).
I guess she never thought of reading or going through God’s Word in the Bible when she is disappointed, betrayed, angry, frustrated (insert all the negative blahs of being ‘bad’). I would advocate going through the Bible when one is feeling vindictive, revengeful, lost hope, very very angry and (insert all the destructive blahs of being cruel/bad).
I know Job and even King David had faced many, many situations whereby they were really disappointed, betrayed, angry and etc. In some of the Psalms, there were things which King David asked God to punish his enemies. He asked God to destroy his foes and such. He asked God to struck down the people he hate.
I think as humans, we should allow ourselves to let go of all these anger and curses just like King David did. We must not take things into our own hands but expressed them through the Bible. We must not carry all the burdens and pains ourselves but instead, allow God to see our weakness, i.e. the revengeful or harmful thoughts we were thinking. Believe that God will transform them when we allow Him.
So, my dear friend, allow yourself to be ‘bad’ by reflecting on some of the Psalms and the books in the Bible especially during King David’s time. Sorry I cannot recall them offhand but I will do so next time.
I can assure you that when those words flow through your mind, you will find inner peace. The Lord will understands. And usually, the Lord changes hearts. A friend of mine who committed suicide told me through sms (because she was on life support and cannot talk) that she found comfort in King David’s psalms. She could relate to his struggles, defeats, betrayals and many other heart breaking situations.
I hope you will find peace when you surrender all to the Lord.
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