My conversion story - Part 3

(It only takes me one hour to write this conversion story but I decided to break it down into parts because of the different phases I went through where religion is concerned. If you are easily offended or love to nag, please refrain from reading, ok?)

Part 2/4 is here. This is part 3/4 and it will end with part 4/4

So, I was slowly inclining towards finding other gods because my ‘god’ wasn’t giving me results. Hate me but it was a one way god, a one way communication. I cannot get any answers from a statue. So, I went to a medium. Some son of a bitch of a conman calling himself a medium.

I guess fate has it that I had to meet him, got lied to and given false hopes. He crapped a lot of nonsense and he could get all sort of gods into him like he is a freaking schizophrenic chap. One minute, it is Guan Yin, next minute the monkey god and next, the healer god (thai seong lor kun) and yadda yadda yadda. He could even call the god of hades. Kanasai!

Then, I totally lost faith. I also got angry and frustrated with my mother-in-law for not blessing my son after all that I had done for her. (I know it is wrong but try to convince a desperate woman like me who clinged on her last straw) It is like, doh….I did all I could for you when you were alive, I was the only one out of your eight children (and some other daughter-in-laws) who willingly took your tablet home to worship you and feed you every single festival. What’s so hard about watching over your grandson? So, it slowly became just a cold table with a cold piece of name there. I refused to pray anymore.

Remember that my son was dying and all these crazy thoughts going through my mind then, is just ‘normal’. I began to read inspirational books, Chicken soup series and Our Daily Bread. Then, I bought a Bible and started reading from Genesis. No one tells me that I do not have to read Bible from page one, ok?

So, I still couldn’t get it because Genesis, Numbers and etc are like some badly written fairy tales with incest and other horrific bad human behaviours. Still, I marveled at myself for being able to stick to reading Numbers. It is one freaking long, numbers. I was like, “WTH, is this what Christianity is all about? They are serving and offering how many animals, how many yards of cloths, how wide the table etc etc.” It is exactly like my Chinese god worshipping.

But thank God, I stumbled upon the New Testament and I found Jesus, the person. Jesus and all His clever remarks like Why worry? But I am also lucky that I didn’t come to the part of Jesus being the Healer. Or else, I probably expect Him to heal my son. And if my son died, that would be the last of Jesus for me.

On Good Friday 2001, i.e. sometimes around April 2001, I suddenly asked my son’s doctor, Doc C to pray for my son. I was curious how Christians pray. I have never seen or been to a church and I do not know what prayer to Christian means.

And Doc C is that special guy who is not afraid of bringing his faith into his profession. He told me “Lilian, I pray for this naughty guy every morning and every night.” I asked him if he could pray for him on Good Friday.

On Good Friday, both of us were at my son’s side and he prayed. Then, few days after that, Doc C personally took my son down to UMMC in KL by ambulance. He closed his clinic for the day and went on the personal mission of saving my son.

Fast forward, my son died in UMMC after 10 days. On his funeral, Doc C came to his funeral, bringing a toy along. He shed tears at my son’s funeral. He brought along several of the nurses. I was beyond touched because only a few of my sibling and one sibling-in-law were there. Forget about the blood is thicker than water shit. Christ brought some nice people to my life and that’s what matters and held me up.

Next chapter….in next post…