I had breakfast with some senior relatives the other day. Words got to us that one of them is having some mental problems. From what I gather, the person is bordering on obsessive compulsive behaviour and is terribly afraid of sick friends and relatives. He has this fear that cancer will infect him if he gets near them. He will spend sleepless nights over the matter.
I knew he has no faith. I am disappointed that despite of his mission school background and our family Chinese traditional background, he just failed to see that there is always another world awaiting us. Dying is not the end, as far as we are concerned. It doesn’t matter which faith he choose to subscribe to but at least, find something that offers the Step Two.
While eating breakfast, he lamented about the Myanmar and China tragedy and said why God allows such things to happen. He said life is meaningless because God never stop the tragedy. My initial reaction was to retort, “Excuse me? Was God part of your life all this while? How come you are so sure that God was the culprit here?”
It pisses me when people who do not believe in God, never want to find out about God and never live like any God-fearing person suddenly and conveniently blame God when shit hits the fan. So, I smiled and told him, “Well….we are living on earth, full of tragedies and things like that. This is not Heaven, so all these are part of the package deal……..”
And as expected, people get nervous when we make sense. Before I can continue, he hurriedly brushed off everything and said, “Haiyah, life is like this. Here today, gone tomorrow.” Looking at how uncomfortable he is, shifting in his seat and picking up his drinks, I just drop the whole thing. I wanted to tell him that things do not end here. You may be gone but at least if you know where you are heading to, you won’t be so fearful of being dead. It is better that you believe in something than to live in fear that you will just drop dead and poof! from everything and everyone.
But oh well…..it is not my problem that people choose to live in fear than to hear me out. I tried but time and distance doesn’t permit. We live far apart and only see each other like 2-3 times a year. I hope some good saviour will share with him the Good News and see that he has his peace of mind. Otherwise, I think it is rather torturing to live without faith and yet, knowing that death is knocking on the door with every passing year.
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