One of the greatest trauma in my life is probably the death of my father. I was about 6 years old and when he fell sick, no one really explains to me what was going on. His hospitalisation caused a lot of upheavals to my life. As a child, I actually enjoyed it because all I remembered was the stay at my cousin’s house which is near to the hospital.
So, when he died, no one told me exactly what was going too. I was able to understand Bahasa Malaysia but my cousins whom were very, very much older than me spoke in BM, hoping I did not know. They brought me home and that was the beginning of the most nightmarish event of all.
We had strict, traditional Taoist funeral and there were lots of crying, dramas, rituals, uncomfortable gunny sack cloths, no bathing, no washing of even our faces and my father body was placed on blocks of ice as my second brother were away in the jungles on a scouting mission.
That part of my life probably screwed up a lot of my character. But then, it is probably in a good way too as I had learned to detach feelings when I need to. That was my coping mechanism when my son was dying. I could step out of my feelings, watch and deal with things without breaking down. As a kid, I had learnt to ‘watch from outside’ without being in the picture of sadness as I didn’t know what was going on with this thing call death. Let’s just say God prepares me well to face the life He has set out for me.
The above are four parts of video from the book by Leo Buscaglia call The Fall of Freddie the Leaf. I found this book in the library of College General the other day and it is good that there is a video on it on Youtube. It is a very short, simple story which we can use to explain deaths of grandparents, parents, siblings or even pet goldfish or hamsters to our children.
We need to tell the children that dying is part of life. It is like the season changing. Spring to winter, living to dying. Death will come at some parts of our lives, even if it is just a death of a pet hamster. So, do not fear death too much as it is something inevitable and imminent. We cannot run away from it, so may as well face it.
Today is All Souls’ Day and the homily by Father Fabian makes a lot of sense to me. I have to talk about deaths when I am doing my pastoral care. Terminal patients will sometime talk about what will happen to them when they finally lost their fight against cancer. Different faiths see life after death differently. But I hope what I grasp in the homily today will help them the next time we chat about deaths. I will elaborate more on that in another post.
The gospel reading for All Saints’ Day is the beatitudes. The Beatitudes verses captured me long before I turned to Catholicism. I bought one bookmark with the beatitudes because I found the ‘Blessed are those who mourn….for they shall be comforted” very enlightening. At that time, I was mourning for the loss of my son and the verse comforted me though I do not know much about the backgrounds of the beatitudes. It is the simplicity and the common sense of those verses that touched me.
Above is the beatitudes which Father Fabian described as the moral ideals Jesus offered to all Christians. Saints are people whom had achieved these ideals.
Though I was on lector’s duty and sitting at the front, I couldn’t resist grabbing my little notebook from my handbag and started scribbling Father Fabian’s words like a reporter taking notes. Though I have been a Christian for five years, I never really understand why Catholics are so in love with the saints. Sometimes, I found it spooky because of misunderstandings. Have you seen the prayers to St. Jude where people published in the classified ads?
It is only recently that I am taking an interest in how these people had lived their lives while they were on earth. When I know how unique their characters were and the bravery they had shown, I developed a kind of relationship with an individual and not some symbols or statues. I notice I am drawn to those saints who challenged authorities in the quest for justice and freedom (like St. Nicholas Kitbamrung), attempted dangerous missions (like how St. Francis walked to the Arabs) and other ‘adventurous stuffs’ (like St. Lillian who didn’t hide her religion to save her life).
Father Fabian said that saints used to be what we are and saints are what we hope to be someday. He said the key to the seven beatitudes is the first one, i.e. Blessed are the poor in spirit…for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Poor does not mean poor economically but rather the afflicted one. (The Hebrew meaning of poor)
Why indeed is the poor blessed? Father Fabian said the poor or the downtrodden ones are saved from the illusions that worldly power can in fact give love, happiness and life itself. When one is powerful and in control, they are blinded to many things. But when we are the afflicted ones, we are ready to turn to God for help. We then will be liberated from self-centeredness and self-serving. He said the only gift we can keep is the one we give away. Quoting Bible verse Matthew 16:26,
What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
Father Fabian’s homily on the saints sort of bring to life these saints because as he was talking, I could imagine the people whom had persevered in their ideals to live up to Jesus’s teachings, the beatitudes. I know many of them were ridiculed and faced all kinds of sufferings, mockery, torturings and other challenges as I had read about the lives of some of the saints.
In conclusion, I am rather blessed that through my own inadequacies and ignorance, yet inquisitive nature, I am slowly getting closer to the faith. Religion is so much more personal and intimate when we can understand what exactly we are doing and why we are doing it. Otherwise, it is just a mind-numbing, time wasting ritual that serves no purposes.
Aha…I got a confession to make. I think I have never been to mass on All Saints’ Day before. I must have missed the obligation day because I probably was away in KL or just plainly forgot all about it.
However, this year, All Saints’ Day falls on a Saturday and I have lector’s duty. So, I am not likely to ‘forget’. We were reminded that we must attend both Saturday and Sunday masses as they are obligation days.
My church, Cathedral of the Holy Spirit has several masses on both Saturday and Sunday. The times are :
MASSES FOR 1ST & 2ND NOVEMBER, ‘08
Masses for All Saints’ Day
31st Oct. 8.00pm (E)1st Nov. 7.00am (E)
12.00 noon (E)
6.00pm (E)Masses for All Souls’ Day
7.00am (E)
8.20am (C)
10.00am (E)
5.30pm (T) cancelledn.b. attending 6.00pm mass on 1st Nov. does NOT fulfill the Sunday obligation.
This year, I feel closer to the saints as I have known some of the saints in a ‘friendlier’ way. In the past years, saints are just some good people whom had died long time ago. This year, I have discovered who Saint Francis Assisi was (and that’s how I ended up in Mt. Miriam as a volunteer), how courageous Saint Lillian was, what a brave man Saint Nicholas K (my church’s patron saint who is a Thai) was and I am beginning to know Padre Pio or Saint Pio. So, it is a blessing that my lector’s chief put me on duty for the noon mass on All Saints’ Day. (this to clear any misconception that I can put myself on any duty I like since I am the one doing the duty roster)
I have gone through the readings for All Saints’ Day and I think it is amazing how God has chosen His people, including you and I. The reading from the Book of Apocalypse revealed to me who the saints are. “they have been through the great persecution” so says the Lord to John.
Meanwhile, for All Souls’ Day….I wish I have a grave to go to on this day. However, there is none. So, I put my son’s name in the list of deceased people at the register in Mt. Miriam because they are doing the prayers for the deceased souls every day.
Again, I thank God that with each passing year, I am beginning to learn more and more about Catholicism in my journey.
31 “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 32 We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”
I feel like the prodigal son in Luke chapter 15, verse 31.
Muslims are asked to stop the practice of yoga, according to Malaysiakini.
Pensyarah Fakulti Pengajian Islam, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia Prof Zakaria Stapa menasihati orang Islam yang mengamalkan senaman yoga supaya menghentikannya kerana bimbang boleh memesongkan akidah.
Bagaimanapun Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan belum membuat keputusan rasmi berhubung senaman tersebut.
Majlis itu akan membuat keputusannya dalam tempoh terdekat, kata Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia (Jakim).
Yoga yang diperkenalkan sekitar 3,300 Sebelum Masihi dikatakan dapat membantu melambatkan proses penuaan, mengurangkan risiko kencing manis, darah tinggi, lelah dan penyakit berkaitan jantung.
Menurut Bernama lagi, amalan senaman harian itu kebanyakannya mempunyai pergerakan berdasarkan unsur dalam agama Hindu seperti manifestasi gerakan, konsentrasi dan posisi tubuh dilakukan sambil membaca mentera.
That makes me wonder about what the Catholics said about yoga too. I personally have stopped some of the things I practised since I converted to Catholicism. Some of them are my knowledge and implementation of fengshui around my home, study of the I-Ching and 8 pillars (pat chee) and other interesting subjects that were ok before I was a Christian. Though, not officially, we were told that tai chi, yoga and other forms of health exercise that touched on our souls too were not recommended for us.
It is not a matter of being fearful, blindly listening to orders or being obedient. Since I have practised those before, I do know that some of them are rather accurate and effective. Therefore, I see it as a test of my faith if I were to dwell in them. If you have the One Powerful Almighty God, why need other co-stars? Some parties insisted that feng shui is a science. But then, when you dwell deeper, you will note that all kind of lucky objects will be offered as remedies. Then, it is definitely against Christianity.
I have never taken an interest in yoga because many of the yoga centres I saw have a buddha-like statue to give one the zen feel. So, I have always see yoga as ’something I shouldn’t venture into’. I personally believe the Holy Spirit dwells in me and the Spirit will provide me the zen, without all the mumbo-jumbo.
So, is yoga against our Christian faith? Here’s an explanation I picked up from a Catholic forum, answered by Michelle Arnold, Catholic Answers Apologist in 2004 :
Physical exercises that are common to yoga that promote health and physical well-being are fine. What Catholics should not do is participate in non-Christian Eastern spirituality. If yoga contains non-Christian Eastern spirituality, one can do the physical exercises but refrain from the prayers. As a general rule of thumb, Christian spirituality is interpersonal (between persons) while non-Christian Eastern spirituality focuses the practitioner on the self.
I also find a very lengthy article on the Vatican about Christianity and the New Age. The article is very helpful towards the course I am currently studying. I am taking the Psychology and Spirituality course in College General and am trying to discover why we humans are reacting the way we do.
In conclusion, I will not take up yoga, fengshui, astrology and etc not because I am a devout Catholic Christian. Rather, I do not trust my own strength weaknesses and do not wish to fall into the fallacy of having a ‘tailor-made god’ whereby I take only whatever I can chew and spew whatever I cannot live up to. I will stick to my belief that Jesus is the one solution for everything I will ever need. If you wish to read another related article on New Age thinking, do check my old post on Oprah Winfrey church and what my church elder said about Christians and Oprah Winfrey.
If you are offended by my opinions or wish to pump your disagreement, sorry I am not interested to hear.
The English version on Malaysiakini is over here.
Additional readings on Yoga
Contrary to what people think, I do not talk religion when I am doing my volunteering rounds. Anyway, I dislike talking religion because I know I was highly allergic to people who preach. I just hate them, regardless they are Buddhists, Christians or in-betweens. My immediate reaction is to ‘Get the hell out of my face because I have enough problems of my own (when my son was critically ill)’.
However, sometimes I am given certain people to chat with and I am being told in advance they are Catholics. That’s when I can just jump right in and make myself at home with talks about Yesus, Perawan Maria and do ‘Catholic things’ like praying with them and making the cross or recite the rosary (whatever the patient wants, not what I dictate).
Today, I have the blessed opportunity to have a chat with someone who is a church elder. Being someone who used to be in control and in a commanding position, it is always very hard for them to get used to their illness and their limited movements. It is not easy to deal with situations like these because I have not been in their shoes. I know I would wish death will come soon if I have to be invalid.
What can I offer then? Nothing. I merely listened and we chatted about how Jesus must have felt being put to death in the kind of humiliating death they put Him through. How a human Jesus must felt when none of what He had done on earth was appreciated and even His disciples abandoned him and refused to admit they know him (Peter denied he knows Jesus three times).
That’s when we got to the part of total surrender to God and His will. That’s when we agreed that so many things on earth, like sufferings, pains, helplessness and etc are beyond our control and we cannot do anything to them except to embrace it. And the only thing we can do is to hang on to the faith that God is with us. Hopefully that faith and belief will give calm, peace and endurance to the sufferings.
“Kamu sudah menerima kuasa ini dengan percuma, maka lakukanlah semuanya tanpa meminta bayaran!” (Mattius 10:8)
I went up to the chapel after my rounds. It was still early and I feel a bit shy to leave the hospital so early. There aren’t many patients around so I decided to ‘waste time’ in the chapel. I dug out an old Gideon bible from the book shelves. Gideon bible is awfully hard to read and understand as they use the old English of ye shalt not, thou speaketh etc etc. I didn’t bring my Al-Kitab today. However, the verse from Matthew chapter 10, sort of flew out of the pages and bring me the realisation that I am not giving but rather I am receiving. I am not giving my time but rather, I am receiving God’s grace of discovering His mysteries through all my acquaintances with these special people.
8Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,[a]drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.
I must note that the gentleman was amused with me when I confessed to him that I personally find it very unfair to God when we asked God to heal us when we know it is impossible. I said that we cannot totally ‘demand’ from God for a miracle because it will be unfair to put to the test our God. He laughed and confessed to me that he too told his other doctor in his country, “Fuck off” when the doctor refused to reveal that he has cancer but instead, bring out the Bible and wanted to pray. So, yeah, I praise the Lord that patients are comfortable enough with me to tell me that they told their doctor fuck off. How cool is that, huh?
