I have not been very preachy lately. It is one of those phase when I try not to get too deep in faith because the raw nerves are sometime too hard to deal with. I get all melancholy over nothing. Well, it is not nothing but it is more like things which I prefer to push asides.
The thing is when you are closer to Christ, there is a lot of turmoils in the mind. The eyes seem to see more things and the heart felt more pain. It is nice when one can just float along without much directions and just live day to day.
What scares me most is when I am too deep in Christ and I have all those desires to make wrongs, right. I hate that feelings because at the end of it, it is me who has to shoulder it. That’s the reason why I shied away from the Life in the Spirit seminar this year. The last time I attended, I came back with so much awareness about things, I felt suffocated.
You can say that I love to run away from God’s promptings. I like to stay away from getting too involved. I live in an area where I am not involve in any BEC (or what other Christians call cell group) and I have no associations with any other people in Christ. No more chummy Christians gatherings or stuffs like that.
Yeah, I know the workers are few, the field is huge (or something like that) but I wish to stand by the side, just for a few more moments. I know we are all worthy in God’s eyes but I want to be the flotsam. Just for a few more moments.
September 6th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Have courage sister. God wants you nearer to Him more than you can imagine. For what good is salt if it has lost its saltiness? And a grain of salt on its own would not be salty enough to make a difference in this world the way God wanted it to be.
P/s : Salt here does not refer to “kiam” which can mean “stingy”. LOL! Anyway, I’m sure you know what I am trying to say.
September 6th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Yo sister..
Most of us choose to stand aside.. not to involved too much.. But i guess, sometimes we tend to stray too much away and totally forget who we are and what He has done for us..
BEC too much and absorb too many knowledge sometimes is not a good things… Try to put it into action.. Serve the community or use our strenght to help up those in need, example those blind centre or old folks home.. only then we can see the benefit of being Christian..
just as you built this blog for the articles that related to Christianity, its a good move..
All the best sister…
September 7th, 2007 at 12:47 am
JiNG – Ya, I believe we can evangelise in many other ways. But sometimes, those are ’seen’ as the right way by some.
pablo – Yes, the lighted lamp is not to be hidden under the bed. But sometimes, the lamp low battery mah. LOL.