The questions I asked

Looking at the amount of stupidities that are cropping up everywhere, I asked the Lord why things are getting so complicated? It seems that everyone has their hardships. Some are sick. Some are losing their jobs. Some have broken relationships. And in the bigger picture, politicians whom in my eyes are there to help the people are fighting over even more stupid things.

Meanwhile, in the faith arena, people are arguing and picking on each other bones. They are comparing their religions, word for word, number by number, name with name and other unimportant things. It takes great discipline not to say to them, Morons, shut up already, religions aren’t supposed to be ‘used’ that way. It is meant as a guide for us to live peacefully. Not comparing whether your god comes first or my god died first.

So, one pissed off night, I went to bed with a lot of questions on my mind. Maybe, good Catholics go to bed with a prayer. Bad Catholics like me go to bed with questions swimming in my mind. And to get those things out of my mind, I read the Bible. I read and read without much reference. The lightest and easiest to hold Bible is my Bahasa Malaysia Bible. The one that has been in a lot of controversies.

And Jesus said, “Berkatilah mereka yang mengutuk kamu, dan berdoalah untuk mereka yang menganiayai kamu.” Hmmm…tough things to do. But never mind, I will try. The best is I could just shut up and stop stirring too much shits.

Then, I ventured further and read the Letters of St. Paul. I paused to think. Why are there so many letters of St. Paul in the Bible? I know some faith will love to tell me this, “St. Paul butchered the real word of God. Lu tak tau kah?” But aha, not true. I believed these letters were there because these letters are the easiest to understand for lay people like us. None of us have seen God. None of us have encountered the living saints and the living Jesus. If the message of God is not reiterated in the letters of St. Paul to us, I guess we will probably never feel Christianity this close and personal.

So, yeah, though I don’t actually adore St. Paul (because I find him rather chauvinist at times and too disciplined for my comfort), the dear old St. Paul is good in giving us easier things to understand. So, while other faiths may accuse him of making Christians becoming ‘Paulians’, St. Paul is like the bloggers of modern times. We re-process things to spread them to a wider audience, in our own style.

That night of sleep ended with a dream. I woke up with a dream of someone asking me, Who do you say I am? Of course, it doesn’t take a genius to tell me that I have pondered too much and have nightmares of Bible lessons. But the answer that I get as a result is amazing. Though I didn’t exactly answer that question, I think if I ever get a chance to be asked by Jesus, I will tell my Lord. “You are a controversial figure. You upset a lot of people’s comfort zones. Therefore, I love to follow you, Lord because life is much more interesting that way. You are 100 times better than any motivational guru.”