Before I pissed people off, I better rant this somewhere. For the longest time, the day I met my hubby, he and I had been doing the regular Ching Ming ritual. That is over 22 years of faithful Ching Ming and by now, even a numbskull knows the hierarchy of doing it. Grandparents, older uncle then my in-laws.
Just because I have turned to Christianity, it doesn’t mean my brain has been dugged out and replaced with something that doesn’t have family values, cultures and respect. I don’t need to get three phone calls just to remind my hubby to do the two older graves first. I hate people calling me to do mundane things like this.
And for goodness sake, your sons are my in-laws grandchildren too. Why didn’t I ever see them visiting? Why so much questions if I am taking my sons to the graves? Check your own children first, please. My in-laws have dotted on those grown up children of yours for more decades than my own children. Where are they? Why do you all have the nerve to ask my teenage son to drive to one spot to pick one auntie, my husband to another spot to pick another auntie for the Ching Ming. What do you think we are, drivers?
It is hard enough for me to get the four kids to wake up at the ghostly hour to pay respect to their grandparents. My kids are young, your own kids are all grown adults. If they cannot take the trouble to fetch you and take you to visit your own parent who is also your own children’s grandparent’s grave, then, forget it. Don’t bother to visit.
Ultimately, I know the reason. Their freaking idea that if the grandchildren pray to their maternal grandparents, the blessings is less. So, they don’t bother. Because it doesn’t have the profit and loss factor to them. It is not about remembering the dead. It is all the freaking who gets the blessings. And I hate people who go to graves to ask for blessings. They are dead, leave them alone. Your family has some misfortune and you think it is because you didn’t offer enough gold papers?
Jesus Christ, give me the patience to keep smiling and keep saying, ok, ok, ok, ok. Sheesh….
April 6th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Why hor got ppl liddat wan… When do smth wrong baru go and ask blessings. And dunno who came up with the idea of begging for fortune in the graves oso. Anyway, just do what you think is right and have no regrets. It sure is a dilemma for u since u’re dealing with *ahem* a family member.