To weep or not to weep?

The thing I hate about Christians is their insensitive comments, sometimes. When I was grieving over the loss of my son, many tried to comfort me with the cliché words ‘He is in a better place, rejoice that he is with the Lord.’ I was so paranoid about hearing that and now, I swear I won’t ever use the same phrase to anyone who lost their loved ones. It is the most idiotic, lame, pathetic, brainless attempt in trying to act smart. Most times, all people need is just a touch, a hug or a knowing smiles. Not Bible verses mumbo-jumbo.

In the end, I won’t ever show any feelings, whether friendly or sad or whatever to most Christians because they seem to have a Bible phrase for everything, without processing it with their minds first.

After my son’s death in May 2002, I joined the RCIA. I think it was around middle of 2002. By 2003 Easter, I was baptised. And I am somewhat very faithful. I just found my old diary where I jotted down things I feel and Bible verses that touched me. I wasn’t a blogger yet, I think.

The above is a picture of it. I am going to type it out so that I can remember what I wrote.

2.10 am

2nd May 2004

This time, 2 years ago, I was at the morgue with Vincent (my fourth son). Now, I am in Christ and I am strong eventhough I had been broken. God, you have given me this strength.

Here is why I want to jot this down online. Before this, I prayed very hard to ask Jesus to give me a sign that my son is with Him. I had forgotten this until I re-read what I wrote back then.

I had seen miracles today. A white moth came to our house and stay in the children’s room. And how did the computer play Vincent’s song? (Winds Beneath My Wings). I know it is You, Lord Jesus.

A white moth is taken as a symbol of our departed loved ones. And the freaky thing is the MIDI file (back then, there were no Youtube yet) on my PC started playing on its own eventhough we did not open the file. So, now, I remember why my faith in Lord Jesus is unusually stronger than most people.

So, dear friends, don’t ever attempt the ‘Your loved one is in a better place’ unless you have suffered the same kind of grief. And usually, no two persons feel the same kind of grief. You do not know the intensity of another’s. So, it is always better to keep quiet and let those who need to weep, weep. That’s why God created tear ducts, tears and emotions. One needs to learn to differentiate despair from sadness before trying to act smart, that’s my advice.