Since my late-BIL’s illness and his passing, I have turned quite the ‘regular face’ in church and even went as far as attending early morning masses on weekdays. The routine has become part of life. I could wake up suddenly around 5+ am when the azan subuh from the Penang State mosque jolted me.
It is actually a nice practice to start the day with a communion with Jesus. Sometimes, the homilies set me off on a melancholy mood, sometimes very uplifting and at times, it sort of ’set me straight’. At other worrying times, the eucharist gave me courage and strength.
I didn’t know how attached I am on the action of waking up early, strolling in the darkness and cold morning air to the car park, getting into the car with morning radio, driving on the quiet road and being in church when there are hardly people around…….until I stopped doing it.
Suddenly, I feel restless not being able to be there. I was on and off feeling feverish and had no desire of going anywhere. Saturday sunset mass, I had to call in sick and asked Danneil to replace me for my OHP duty. I thought Sunday will see me there at 10 am mass but I have throbbing headache.
This morning, i.e. Monday morning, I wanted to go for mass because it is the feast day of St. Clare of Assisi. But I coughed during the night and only fell asleep late and couldn’t wake up.
After all these, I told myself to just forget that I am not feeling well. I forced myself out of bed at 7 pm and rushed to practise handball. I sweat buckets and imagine the germs and the medicines I took pouring out of my sweat glands.
Tomorrow, I am going to go back to business as usual. Aha, one would think that ‘good Christians’ will know that at times like these, one should pray. But ‘bad Christians’ like me only see the pharmacist for more medicines. Maybe my faith is not strong enough to trust in God for a cure for flu yet. Hehehe. Anyway….I seriously think we shouldn’t ‘disturb God’ over menial stuffs like these. I have heard of people praying to God when they have constipation! No wonder they are so constipated. *laffs at own joke*
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